Coraline

Using new 3-D magic and using the same style as Nightmare Before Christmas, Coraline (adapted from a graphic novel) seemed to finally give me what I've been waiting for. A creepy/dark kids flick.

I remember growing up in the late 80's early 90's with some disturbing pieces of work. Labyrinth with David Bowie, stands out in my mind. Not only because of Jim Henson's freakish visions with the help of Muppet's but also because it was marketed as a kids film and actually ended up scary most of them (unless they were older.) To this day I still talk to my friends about the brilliance and horror of the Labyrinth in all its glory.

Coraline, was not only amazing because it was featured in 3-D but dealt with our protagonist who has moved to a new town, and occupies a residence with her crazy neighbors and loveless parents. She is constantly fighting for attention, but her parents are too wrapped up in their own lives to care or love her. With the arrival of an awkward teen friend and a doll that looks too similar to Coraline, weird things begin to happen at night. Coraline, finds her way through a crawl space that leads to another life. Of course all is not what it seems as the characters from the other world have buttons for eyes. Eventually there is a conflict between Coraline and the other world as she becomes imprisoned and learns the dark truth of this other world.

For the most part, I loved the film. The beginning felt a little "off" only with the voices and animations. Maybe I wasn't used to the style but everything felt very vaudeville with the grand gestures. Eventually they toned down and I settled in with the style and 3-D elements. I thought the visuals in this film were phenomenal and dream like, even when things were dry, dark and depressing. It relied heavily on Coraline figuring out the rules of the other world and she barely got help in the adult situations that took place.

Verdict: It wasn't too horrific overall, so children can still enjoy the film, but it has a dark undertone and could scar the right child. Thankfully I saw an early showing and wasn't subjected to screaming kids everywhere, but I highly recommend this film. It's every dream and more I have for kids films and how they shouldn't shelter certain elements from a child's mind. It may rock your world or simply annoy you. Beware, Teri Hatcher voices both good and bad mom, but after seeing this film you'll sort of love her manic cackles and slightly grow annoyed with Dakota Fanning's Wisconsin accent. Ex: Mom is said "M-AH-M."

Another Cinderella Story

Laugh all you want but I had been seeing the trailer for this film in almost every movie related to Disney or as a TV spot on every channel. Those who know me, know I don't discriminate against Disney. For Christ's sake I saw High School Musical 3 in theaters and own the first two. You can judge all you want but that further proves my point of having a distinct and broad taste of films.

I'm sure you're reaction to all of this information is liking me less and less, but I promise you I can justify every single film I own or have seen, unless I generally don't like it. There are few films I absolutely loathe one being the "House of the Dead" game adaptation but then again I don't recall anyone liking it when it came out.

Enough ranting and on with Another Cinderella Story starring the upcoming, fresh faced, Selena Gomez as our Cinderella, Jane Lynch from Best in Show or best known as the mole from Arrested Development as the wicked stepmother and Drew Seeley? Our prince charming. I guess if you follow Disney you'd know who he was. I didn't know who the hell he was but in case you were interested I did a little researching.

Drew Seeley is a Canadian singer who collaborated with Disney on a bunch of songs and is credited as co-writing "Get'cha Head in the Game," which was in the first High School Musical film. Apparently since Zac Efron was a nobody at the time of the first film and Disney didn't have faith in him as a singer, Drew Seeley was uncredited as the dubbed over voice for him. Once High School Musical took off and Zac moved on to bigger and better things (Hairspray) and actually started singing, they launched a High School Musical tour without Zac. Drew took Zefrons place on tour because Hairspray was being filmed and I'm sure Disney didn't pay enough for that shit.

So anyway, Drew Seeley was Selena's hip hop/vanilla ice like dreamboat of a prince charming who apparently decided to take time off from his solo career and go back to high school and enjoy his time as a kid. Meanwhile, we have Selena Gomez who is the adopted, now maid, of Jane Lynch's character Dominique Blatt a horribly written washed up Diva that appeared to "comically" blend Madonna and Cher into one and her kids.

I know what you're thinking, give this film a break it's a kids movie but I really can't. I honestly don't remember Disney having shit like this when I was young. The ONLY redeeming quality was Selena Gomez's effortless acting in a film that revolves around horrible cliche's, an iPod twist to the story instead of a glass slipper and a dance off ending. This film felt like it was written within a week switching out names to the first Cinderella Story starring Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray. At least Jennifer Coolidge (who is always bat shit crazy in her films) was interesting to watch in the first film. Jane Lynch's winy, over the top pop star act got really old and the close ups of her during Selena's dance performance, where she shouts out one liners, was painful.

Taking in account that it was a Disney direct to DVD and starred unfamiliar faces I still didn't care for it. It was supposed to be Selena's "big break" into films but felt too much like Step Up 2 to translate. There was even a point that I realized that it wasn't about the traditional Cinderella story and that both Drew Seeley and Selena Gomez knew about each others love within the hour. There was no substance and it literally turned into a happily ever after dance film.

Verdict: Poor Selena Gomez, who's innocent and pouty acting could be better headlined in a popular franchise like High School Musical was wasted. The songs reminded me of Kidz Bop and Drew Seeley looked way too old to be playing a senior in high school. He's 26 by the way and Selena is 16. I knew what I was getting myself into and needed to see the Selena Gomez craze (unofficially dubbed the new Miley Cyrus) but it fell completely flat and I didn't even slightly smile once. It's movies like that, that I wonder if the writing/film making crew cash their checks in return for all singles, empty them on a queen size bed, and roll around laughing their asses off.