The Haunting of Molly Hartley

So if the poster doesn't give you much of an idea of who's the good guys and the bad (a certain devilish looking Gossip Girl star) here's the trailer so you can basically see the entire movie in under three minutes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IICI7g3jMGI

The haunting of Molly Hartley came out last Halloween and like many people who viewed the trailer I knew it wasn't going to be very good. Still, I always hold the best intentions for a horror film especially if it's released during the week of Halloween. Unfortunately it was a giant let down.

The film opens to a flashback (if you can call it one, since it was only 1991) following a young girl in the woods following notes that lead her to a run down cabin. A million jump scares later you see that she's some what paranoid because their are people or "things" following her around but she quickly shakes them off. That is until her terrifying father comes out of nowhere (jump scare) and demands her to leave with him. As they drive away he begins to break down and talk crazy about how she can't turn 18. He then proceeds to run the car off the road and get side swiped by a semi (another jump scare) but they both survive and are strapped into the truck. The dad, now clearly insane finds a good piece of glass broken from his car window and stabs his daughter while she pleads for her life, ultimately killing her....I think. Funny thing is that the sub story is never brought back and serves as that shocking first ten minutes of a film.

Cut to present day the cute and quiet Molly Hartley wakes up from a horrifying dream of being stabbed. As you can see in the trailer Molly hyperventilates A LOT. The actress playing Molly wasn't actually that terrible and most of the actors were pretty convincing, despite the terrible interpretation of an amazing plot. This plot is basically about Molly or the previous girls 18th birthday and that they would be searched out by "the darkness" and their souls would belong to the devil.

It's not an unfamiliar story in the horror genre and usage of contemporary objects like cell phones, cars and computers are put to a minimum which I always enjoy. An example is when Molly's in the library searching through the stacks and (surprise, surprise) has a jump scare with Chase Crawford. He looks at her and says "books really?" To that she replies "school's track everything you research." Not the most mind blowing scene but an interesting approach to make the scenes and settings feel at least a little retro.

Weird things do happen during this film, but my main problem with it is the hot and cold conflict and the completely awful ending. The beginning starts off with a semi-interesting story that leads us to Molly who is the new girl in town and has a secret. The secret being that her mother is locked up in a psych ward because she tried to kill Molly. Molly is incredibly delicate and inherits paranoia and nose bleeds only to find out she has a small nasal tumor that is later removed. So then scary things stop happening and the romance/befriending of Molly starts happening. Then it goes back to being weird as her mother begins to follow her. The truth comes out that Molly has two days till her birthday and the devil owns her soul so she tries to get baptized and acquire some faith, only to be held under water by the weird religious girl from school because "her grandma works at the psych ward that holds her mother."

There were just too many coincidences and the ending didn't make any sense at all.

Spoiler Alert!!!!

Basically Molly's cornered literally twelve seconds (as a clock chimes midnight) by her guidance counselor (who was the one who made a deal with her parents in the first place) and Chase (who is also Satan's minion???) Molly stabs herself and then it cuts to her father being in the psych ward and Molly is all sexy and straightened out. She has her dad committed, then it cuts to her graduation where she's the validvictiorian (of course) and giving a speech. All of the sudden she's the most popular girl in school and straightened out her life. Then it just ends. Seriously that's the ending.

So basically the moral of the story is that becoming evil is inevitable and you really shouldn't fight it because you'll straighten out your life, be rich, class president, pretty and get the man of your dreams. I don't know what Molly was worried about.

The film could have at least played with the notion of evil Molly or what had become of her but instead it ended like a teen drama and was a complete waste of time. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to already remake the film because it had potential but was a pussy cop out in the end.

Friday the 13th (Remake)

I don't want to go too in depth about this movie, but trust me when I say that I went to it with the best intentions, low expectations and a love for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake that was produced/directed by the same crew of this film.

I HATED THIS FILM. Hate! I can almost say that it's almost as disappointing as....wait...nothing. It's just terrible.

If you want to waste some of your money for lots of cheap tits, cheap scares and horrible acting with a few merciless deaths then see this film. I saw My Bloody Valentine 3D this week as well. That movie is a cinematic masterpiece compared to this shit (and that's not saying much.)

I must ask, how much longer are horror fans gonna have to put up with senseless violence just because the killers "crazy" and unexplained plot holes that are quickly covered up with jump scares, just to psych the audience out?

If I ever found my way into a horror universe I guess I can count on a few survival tips.

1. If you hear a noise in the closet, just forget about it and run out of the room, because most likely the killers not in there, he's behind you.

2. Always bring spare flashlights.

3. Watch where you step because you might stumble upon something that belongs to the killers.

4. Don't call out for your missing friend, they're already dead, if they weren't they would answer you.

5. If you approach a mysterious house with a screen door and you knock but no one answers, wait a couple seconds for a dog or cat to wildly jump out from no where.

6. Don't keep your back to a window, because someone will always pound on the glass a couple seconds later.

7. If you're terrified don't cover your mouth with both hands, to keep yourself quiet, what are you four? You really can't control yourself?

8. Lastly, if you're gonna get your revenge against your killer by killing them, please...please! Don't spout out some verbal diarrhea like "Say hi to mommy for me...in hell!" The pause doesn't make it anymore dramatic.

It's Friday the 13th for christ's sake! You can't butcher a classic, but I should have guessed it, they did. All I can say, is that after the longest hour and a half of my life, I walked out of the theater completely disappointed, let down, insulted and pissed off, because Nightmare on Elm Street is the next film to fuck up on Michael Bay's agenda and unlike T-Massacre the remakes are starting to wear thin and I adore Nightmare on Elm Street.

Where is horror headed, because up until this point, it's a dead market for me.

Coraline

Using new 3-D magic and using the same style as Nightmare Before Christmas, Coraline (adapted from a graphic novel) seemed to finally give me what I've been waiting for. A creepy/dark kids flick.

I remember growing up in the late 80's early 90's with some disturbing pieces of work. Labyrinth with David Bowie, stands out in my mind. Not only because of Jim Henson's freakish visions with the help of Muppet's but also because it was marketed as a kids film and actually ended up scary most of them (unless they were older.) To this day I still talk to my friends about the brilliance and horror of the Labyrinth in all its glory.

Coraline, was not only amazing because it was featured in 3-D but dealt with our protagonist who has moved to a new town, and occupies a residence with her crazy neighbors and loveless parents. She is constantly fighting for attention, but her parents are too wrapped up in their own lives to care or love her. With the arrival of an awkward teen friend and a doll that looks too similar to Coraline, weird things begin to happen at night. Coraline, finds her way through a crawl space that leads to another life. Of course all is not what it seems as the characters from the other world have buttons for eyes. Eventually there is a conflict between Coraline and the other world as she becomes imprisoned and learns the dark truth of this other world.

For the most part, I loved the film. The beginning felt a little "off" only with the voices and animations. Maybe I wasn't used to the style but everything felt very vaudeville with the grand gestures. Eventually they toned down and I settled in with the style and 3-D elements. I thought the visuals in this film were phenomenal and dream like, even when things were dry, dark and depressing. It relied heavily on Coraline figuring out the rules of the other world and she barely got help in the adult situations that took place.

Verdict: It wasn't too horrific overall, so children can still enjoy the film, but it has a dark undertone and could scar the right child. Thankfully I saw an early showing and wasn't subjected to screaming kids everywhere, but I highly recommend this film. It's every dream and more I have for kids films and how they shouldn't shelter certain elements from a child's mind. It may rock your world or simply annoy you. Beware, Teri Hatcher voices both good and bad mom, but after seeing this film you'll sort of love her manic cackles and slightly grow annoyed with Dakota Fanning's Wisconsin accent. Ex: Mom is said "M-AH-M."

Fatal Instinct

If you ever get the chance to rent this movie do so. I remember growing up and seeing it on Comedy Central almost as much as Weekend at Bernies 2, another horrible yet funny comedy.

Fatal Instinct might be just as, or even funnier, than Airplane! which was written/directed by the wonderful Zucker brothers.

Basically this film manages to spoof the "erotic thrillers" like Basic Instinct and Fatal attraction (a hybrid of the films title) and classic detective films like ChinaTown and Double Indemnity. Fatal Instinct was directed by Carl Reiner and follows our lead Ned Ravine a slap stick Lesley Neilsen type who works as both an officer, private detective and a lawyer. His shtick is that he is hired to solve a crime, he arrests them, and then becomes their defense attorney. It's all pretty ridiculous when you think about it, but it's filled with hilarious spoofs and literal humor that always surprises, yet actually makes you laugh out loud. I'd give you examples but reading them in a blog won't help you like the movie anymore.

Verdict: These types of comedic films are few and far between these days and if you enjoy simple, yet hilarious humor that spoofs classic films then check this out. It's really that good.

The X Files 2: I Want to Believe

Now I wasn't an extreme fanatic of the show, but I remember when the first film came out, way back when. I got really into it because it didn't seem to rely on too many previous plot points from the show. It was an entirely separate story that eventually was flushed out through the series after its premiere. I wish I would have continued watching the show, but it ended up being one of those things where you watch with good intentions, but eventually stray away.

I was in high school when the X-files came to their last season and remember watching a few of the newer episodes featuring new agent Robert Patrick. David Duchovny apparently called it quits which opened an interesting plot line of Gillian Anderson's Scully looking into his abduction. It got a little over the top with some half man/bat plot lines but still managed to tell a few good and creepy story.

When X files 2 was released I didn't rush the theaters to see it, because the trailer looked so so. I ended up waiting for DVD release and watched it one cold and lonely Saturday night by myself. Since the weather in Minnesota pretty much replicated the snowy scenes in this film, the landscape didn't really impress me. I liked the re-introduction of the characters, Mulder being a crazy conspiracy theorist and Scully a surgeon in a religious hospital. I never watched the series finale, so I can't say how it ended for these characters so I was a little confused by the relationship Mulder and Scully had. I'm pretty sure they lived together as Mulder was originally wanted by the FBI.

X-Files 2, opens with a crazy older man running across an empty, snow filled field until he stops and points to a spot where they find evidence of a missing woman. After we are introduced to our two protagonists again, we learn that the FBI need Mulder and Scully's help because of a common tie with their old case files. Of course neither want to help, but with a little persuasion Scully manages to get Mulder sucked back in it, while vowing she is "done" with that part of her life. It eventually becomes a murderous, missing persons case where they find limbs from woman and trace it back to particular characters who are building a woman's body for a cancer stricken gay man. Somehow they've mastered removing a human head while connecting it to a different body.

My major criticism is that things just kind of fell into place and Mulder (who hates the FBI) just kind of falls back into his role without really questioning it. While he starts to believe a man who claims he has a psychic link to the killers, everyone else doubts. I guess it's realistic, but also kind of annoying that these people who hired Scully and Mulder start to doubt their every move. Many people in the film start contradicting themselves and end up with no real solution to any of their questions. I guess I liked the fact that you aren't explained everything, but at the same time there was too much "I want to believe" moments that started dragging the film out.

Verdict: This film seemed to be strictly for the fans and give them a reunion everyone had been craving for a while. The entire movie felt like a longer episode from the show and didn't really interest me like the previous film. While, some of the thriller/suspense moments were interesting, I didn't find the woman's limbs/cancer villains too enthralling. I liked how they incorporated more of a dramatic element between Scully's morals and Mulder's crazy conspiracies, but the Science Fiction aspect just didn't cut it. It was nice to see both actors again, especially Gillian Anderson who really should be in more films. She has an innocent sensuality about her and can actually act. As for David Duchovny, well he pretty much acts the same in everything you watch but that's just my opinion.

Prayers For Bobby

I couldn't find an actual advertisement for the films that premiered on Lifetime so I went with the cover of the book.

Now I'll be the first to admit that when gay films are considered they don't really contain any substance or interest. Every so often a good one will come around, but usually they're all about nudity, sex and drugs.

A second thing advising me to stay away from this film was the fact that it had a "red carpet premiere" on Lifetime. Let's face it, besides watching old episodes of Will and Grace or Golden Girls, who really watches the channel?

So the premiere came and went and I sat down to watch, it because it starred the wonderful and still beautiful Sigourney Weaver. It's a good thing the film was based on a book/true story because it automatically boosted way up on my radar. A funny thing about Lifetime is that all their films they premiere have some sort of like able quality but it's hard to pick out what it is. Usually it's the fact that b-list celebrity or even d-list celebrity stars in the most off the wall film about mental retardation and getting raped by the entire basketball team with a broom stick (an actual film I saw on Lifetime. )

Prayers for Bobby was a true, emotional story about a young boy who lives in a big family with an overbearing, religious mother. Bobby, our young gay protag lives in the attic and is on good terms with his younger sisters and older brother. Even the father in the story isn't to blame, except that he doesn't really understand his son, so he remains distant in their relationship. Once Bobby finally comes to grips with his sexuality the fireworks start and we follow him in his small town during the 80's. He eventually moves out after therapy and various devotions through church to a bigger city to live with his cousin. There he experiences freedom, but still remains heart broken after his mother has basically announced she "won't have a gay son."

Guilt, religion and heartache conjure within Bobby before he decides to climb an overpass and jump into on coming traffic. From there it becomes Sigourney's story as she comes to grip with how much of a bitch she is and tries to figure out if Bobby has gone to heaven or hell.

Overall, it becomes incredibly real and sad following the loneliness and strain of this simple family who deal with the repercussions of something they don't fully understand.

You'd think a movie like this (a story we've all heard before) wouldn't be interesting anymore, but for some reason I found it very intriguing. Maybe it has to do with my religious background, the fact that the main character has the same build as me and dreamed of becoming a writer (a scary comparison.) It was refreshing hearing truthful evidence speaking against the accusations of scripture and Sigourney really made it her film. I often am surprised by actresses we don't see very often, but she was phenomenal while hardly blinking an eye.

Another great thing is that we didn't see the asshole father who drinks, smokes and beats his wife breaking down on Bobby. He didn't seem to care about his sexuality and realized that Bobby just wasn't into certain "guy" things. I liked the fact that this story was about the mother being dissaproving. The father was generally concerned about his son and tried reaching out to him the best way a small town father can, but just didn't do it.

Verdict: A simple story, a Lifetime original, starring one big celebrity and simple sets still managed to captivate an interesting story while opening doors to bible bangers round the world with facts and truth. It was beautiful yet sad, two components Lifetime makes a staple on their channel...for the most part. Check it out, you may be surprised, and no, I don't sympathize more because of it being a gay film. Most gay films are horrible, but this one didn't seem to fit horrible cliche's or glorify homosexuality with colors and drug fueled club scenes.

Sydney White

"C'mon, why make the same mistake twice?" might be your general response after seeing the darling and always over the top Amanda Bynes flick but I think you know what's coming. It wasn't so bad. Okay so I gave everyones favorite Iron Man a lukewarm review and had a horrible reaction to Another Cinderella Story, but honestly Amanda Bynes is starting to do no harm. She's becoming my new Mandy Moore (new teen love.) The girl is either desperate for a pay check or incredibly intelligent in the roles/films and television she stars in. How can it not be a hit? We all remember her from All That which eventually sprouted out to her own show, but you know what? These Nickelodeon stars know what they're doing. Little Amanda used to be this fresh faced, innocent young girl with an over dramatic response to everything and a loud voice but the thing that works for her is that even when she's gotten older she can still laugh at herself.

Let's take some of the Disney princess in account. Poor, poor Miley Cyrus has been caught stating that she's sick of Hannah Montana and wants out of her contract so she's not playing the same role forever and doesn't become typecast. She's becoming a young woman and wants more slutty freedom, fine. Now let's look at Hilary Duff's career after the Lizzy Mcguire movie. She did a couple cute film like A Cinderella Story (Disney) then went on to do Agent Cody Banks with Frankie Muniz (MGM) soon after a minor role in Cheaper by the Dozen 1 and 2 (Fox) and then it all went down hill. As soon as she tried a lead role again (Raise your voice) she was nominated many razzie awards and it all back fired.

I probably shouldn't say this, but I would milk the Disney cash cow forever. Eventually they'll have to put a halt to your show once you become a young woman, and ratings will start to drop but really, why would you give it all up? Artistic freedom? These girls just want to do "serious" roles and act more "grown up" but for some reason are stuck in the nightmare of their own making. I have a diving feeling that Disney can make and break you all in the same day. They may not be evil, but something about them and the way they market young adults and steer their careers is corrupt. It never really ends well, unless you're Anne Hathaway, who put up and shut up until her contract was up. So to these girls, grin and bear it because after you ride the Disney train, you might never be popular again.

Back to Sydney White. Amanda Bynes clearly has been doing something right in the past because while all her films aren't necessarily award winning, they're surprisingly interesting to watch and offer more than the average Disney wannabe films. Amanda has some sort of knack for comedic genius, even if she's completely bat shit crazy. In almost all her movies she plays the same character in different settings and the older she gets the more attractive she is in that goofball, best friend, next door neighbor who grew up to be hot, way.

This film takes the plot of Snow White AKA Sydney White (get it? Isn't that like so crazy?) and places the main character (Bynes) in a college setting where she dreams of pledging with her dead mothers sorority. When queen bee Rachel disapproves of Sydney's un-lady like habits she sets her up to fail and kicks her out of the pledge house. Homeless, Sydney takes refuge in a run down house nicknamed the vortex (because it attracts losers/geeks.) There she meets the seven dorks who live as social outcasts due to one oversleeping, one with an allergy problem, one whose always grumpy about college life, one whose incredibly smart, one incredibly shy so he talks through a sock puppet, one whose really dopey and the last one a virgin womanizer who dreams of getting laid.

Now this all might sound a bit too odd and extreme but this film really ended up creating an interesting story around the classic fairytale. It wasn't really anything we've seen before but the modernized details were a hell of a lot more interesting than Another Cinderella Story. At least each character was unique and the plot remained steady. My biggest complaint for Disney's Cinderella disaster was that it used up it's Cinderella plot within the first forty minutes and left the rest of the film to be about dancing and singing. That would be fine in a musical attempt like High School Musical where they dispense disbelief by breaking into songs at the worst times, but Cinderella didn't cut it.

Sydney White, besides Bynes performances, had the best cast of actors to play the seven dorks. Some looked familiar as possible extras from films/television shows but the ones recognizable were worth seeing. Danny Strong who played the beloved Jonathon on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, seems to look eternally twelve and still has a knack for playing geek. Samm Levine who played Neal Schrieber from Freaks and Geeks plays the horny virgin and blends in with the odd yet great cast of geeks.

Verdict: Although it's still a generic film aimed towards teens and preteens, I think others may enjoy the classic Snow White story with a twist. It is filled with a few laughable scenes between the dorks, but also with unintentional laughable ploys such as a poisonous apple which is really an apple computer that gets a virus. Another embarrassing twist is a hot or not ranking on campus that ranks the hotness of each girl. Guess who knocks Rachel from the number one spot? Filled with a few curse words and slight sexuality it's still a film for younger kids as well as older, something Bynes is blessed in doing with her films.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

At first I wasn't very eager to view this film, because of lukewarm reviews from my friends. Some people complained that it was too long, others it wasn't long enough. Some friends told me it was Forest Gump all over again while others said that it was a generic story that doesn't really explain Benjamin's bizarre case of aging backwards. With all this in mind I ventured to a screening with no expectations what so ever. Now I must be pre-menopausal or just plain crazy but for the duration of the films (which is 166 minutes, hardly long at all) I kept pocketing tissues and crying my eyes out. It felt awkward but then I began to think about how great a film it was.

In my opinion (and others have different opinions) a great film is one with beautiful cinematography and follows an interesting case or story, underlining an interesting theme, great acting, moving music and realistic/un-cliche'd lines. I'm going to make the bold statement now....The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is my favorite movie of all time. I know! People are probably rolling their eyes and shaking their heads but I can give you numerous reasons I fell in love with this cinematic masterpiece.

Something about the scenery of this film and numerous places it takes you drew me in. Each and every place featured offered a different portion of Benjamin's life as he learned something from various people in life. My biggest fear in life is dying because since I was raised Lutheran and became openly gay, I started to question both what I was taught and what people speculate as "eternity." I sympathize those who are lying on their death bed or face death head on, because no one actually knows what happens and being alone during one of the most vulnerable moments in your life is the scariest thing. If I had to pick a major theme for the film, it would be "letting go, in the end." Both Brad and Cate Blanchett's characters say it numerous times and the film follows life and death so closely as we watch Cate age, and Brad get younger. It was one of the saddest and most beautiful things experienced on screen.

Another factor I enjoyed was the torn romance between Cate and Brad with age between the two of them. While Brad grew up surrounded by old people who kept passing away, but sharing a part of them with him, Cate lived her life with Benjamin in and out until she was faced with a dying Benjamin Baby. It all sound pretty ridiculous, but the story was incredibly complex and well written. Something about the era they both lived through always fascinates me and I find different time periods so much more romantic then the present.

With the different periods came the brilliant score and popular music that seemed to just flutter throughout the film and its scenes and strike some sort of emotional cord. I could have listened to the soundtrack alone and start to bawl my eyes out but luckily they didn't over do it with a sad symphony.

Now I will admit that a cliched aspect was the daughter reading a journal to her dying mother, but since I was so interested in the actual story and out come of things I completely ignored it and thought of her like the old man from Princess Bride, a simple catalyst.

Other than that, the acting was effortless and nothing seemed forced. Brad did a phenomenal job with the material he was given because most of the time he would simply sit back and observe. Maybe that's another reason it hit so personally, because I'm the type of person who learns and loves experiences. I could write and dream all day about things that happened in the past, but I never actually look forward to the future. Maybe that's some sort of curse writers are born with, but the cast did a great job. I've never really thought twice about Cate Blanchett until this film. Every time she was on screen she simply glowed and exuded a youthful persona, even when she was older.

Verdict: I could keep talking about many things I enjoyed and I'm sure most people will disagree with some of my statements, but this was an amazing and life altering film (for me.) I have a hard time showing my emotions, especially to others but this movie literally moved me enough to cry through 3/4 of it. It deals heavily with "letting go" and the bitter outcome of life vs. death but afterwords you really learn something and look at your own life. I'm happy for all the things I have, especially love.

Towelhead

As stated in the picture "Towelhead" is from the writer of "American Beauty" and creator of "Six Feet Under." I love the writing in both and find it unique but the subject matter of this film made me too squeamish. I saw the trailer for this film a while back on Apples trailer website and thought it looked just okay. Once I researched it I found out it was a film based on a novel written by someone named Alicia Erian.

The premise follows thirteen year old Jashira who is half Lebanese living with her mother and her mothers boyfriend. The film opens to innocent Jashira wearing a two piece swimsuit in the bathroom and shaving cream on her upper thighs. Her mom's deadbeat boyfriend is holding a razor and says something about how she'll be so pretty now. This obviously set the tone of the film and made me wonder if I was in for a destructive film like one of my least favorites 1995's "Kids" by Larry Clark. Alas, it wasn't as brutal as that film but it was still incredibly uncomfortable.

Soon after Jashira's innocent encounter with mom's boyfriend she is shipped from New York to Houston, Texas to live with her Lebanese, strict, christian father. He lives in a court surrounded by the wonderfully open minded and pregnant Toni Collette and her husband. On the other side of them lives the all American Texas, army reserve and married Aaron Eckhart who ends up taking advantage of Jashira and finger bang/rapes her virginity away. From there it's a downward spiral as everyone beats up on shy and reserved Jashira because she has no one to talk too.

One of the worst things about the film is that the lead Jashira (played by new comer Summer Bishil) is constantly taken advantage of, physically and emotionally beaten while also experiencing womanhood with no one to talk too. One of the cringe worth scenes besides the finger bang/rape is when she gets her period and her father forbids her to wear tampons because they're for grown woman. So poor Jashira is faced with the cheapest pads her father will buy and they are exposed in school when everyone around her calls her racial slurs while emptying out her school bag. Poor Jashira's only pad is passed around in class and she is then forced to the bathroom without any support. There are many scenes like that in which it becomes incredibly uncomfortable to watch.

Playing devils advocate, I'll admit the best part of the film/novel adaptation was the reality of these situations. It was a balls out truthful story and made me forget that I was watching a movie sometimes. It felt like an incredibly private look inside this girls life and honestly portrayed the hardships of being a woman, half Lebanese and sexuality. Thank god, no one gets diseases and passes it around, otherwise it'd be too disturbing but it touches on raw emotion and honest encounters.

Verdict: Not really sure if I loved it. I found it to be incredibly interesting, that it took place in the early 90's during the Gulf war and let you into a characters life that we don't see too often. It was almost a "how to not be an asshole" guide for parents raising young daughters. I think if I had young children it would be a harder film to watch, but I applaud the boundaries that were crossed to depict an honest handful of characters. The only things that I didn't like was the lack of closure and abrupt ending where everything was left "just okay."

Another Cinderella Story

Laugh all you want but I had been seeing the trailer for this film in almost every movie related to Disney or as a TV spot on every channel. Those who know me, know I don't discriminate against Disney. For Christ's sake I saw High School Musical 3 in theaters and own the first two. You can judge all you want but that further proves my point of having a distinct and broad taste of films.

I'm sure you're reaction to all of this information is liking me less and less, but I promise you I can justify every single film I own or have seen, unless I generally don't like it. There are few films I absolutely loathe one being the "House of the Dead" game adaptation but then again I don't recall anyone liking it when it came out.

Enough ranting and on with Another Cinderella Story starring the upcoming, fresh faced, Selena Gomez as our Cinderella, Jane Lynch from Best in Show or best known as the mole from Arrested Development as the wicked stepmother and Drew Seeley? Our prince charming. I guess if you follow Disney you'd know who he was. I didn't know who the hell he was but in case you were interested I did a little researching.

Drew Seeley is a Canadian singer who collaborated with Disney on a bunch of songs and is credited as co-writing "Get'cha Head in the Game," which was in the first High School Musical film. Apparently since Zac Efron was a nobody at the time of the first film and Disney didn't have faith in him as a singer, Drew Seeley was uncredited as the dubbed over voice for him. Once High School Musical took off and Zac moved on to bigger and better things (Hairspray) and actually started singing, they launched a High School Musical tour without Zac. Drew took Zefrons place on tour because Hairspray was being filmed and I'm sure Disney didn't pay enough for that shit.

So anyway, Drew Seeley was Selena's hip hop/vanilla ice like dreamboat of a prince charming who apparently decided to take time off from his solo career and go back to high school and enjoy his time as a kid. Meanwhile, we have Selena Gomez who is the adopted, now maid, of Jane Lynch's character Dominique Blatt a horribly written washed up Diva that appeared to "comically" blend Madonna and Cher into one and her kids.

I know what you're thinking, give this film a break it's a kids movie but I really can't. I honestly don't remember Disney having shit like this when I was young. The ONLY redeeming quality was Selena Gomez's effortless acting in a film that revolves around horrible cliche's, an iPod twist to the story instead of a glass slipper and a dance off ending. This film felt like it was written within a week switching out names to the first Cinderella Story starring Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray. At least Jennifer Coolidge (who is always bat shit crazy in her films) was interesting to watch in the first film. Jane Lynch's winy, over the top pop star act got really old and the close ups of her during Selena's dance performance, where she shouts out one liners, was painful.

Taking in account that it was a Disney direct to DVD and starred unfamiliar faces I still didn't care for it. It was supposed to be Selena's "big break" into films but felt too much like Step Up 2 to translate. There was even a point that I realized that it wasn't about the traditional Cinderella story and that both Drew Seeley and Selena Gomez knew about each others love within the hour. There was no substance and it literally turned into a happily ever after dance film.

Verdict: Poor Selena Gomez, who's innocent and pouty acting could be better headlined in a popular franchise like High School Musical was wasted. The songs reminded me of Kidz Bop and Drew Seeley looked way too old to be playing a senior in high school. He's 26 by the way and Selena is 16. I knew what I was getting myself into and needed to see the Selena Gomez craze (unofficially dubbed the new Miley Cyrus) but it fell completely flat and I didn't even slightly smile once. It's movies like that, that I wonder if the writing/film making crew cash their checks in return for all singles, empty them on a queen size bed, and roll around laughing their asses off.

Transiberian

Transiberian, was a film I had an option of seeing amongst a handful of others presented in my contemporary cinema class. Alas, I passed it up for the chance to see Vicky, Christina, Barcelona, but it would have been nice to see on the big screen. It was okay on my little screen, but somehow the claustrophobia and picturesque snow dusted scenes would have been beautiful blown up.

Starring Ben Kingsley as the bad cop, Woody Harrelson as the dumb downed American boyfriend, and Emily Mortimer as his tough protagonist girlfriend these characters take the Transiberian railway from Beijing to Moscow but become sidetracked once they meet a troubled couple who secretly smuggle heroin in small dolls. Kingsley is along for the ride searching for the drug traffickers so he can beat the shit out of them, get their money and live his crooked cop way, not too complicated.

My first thought upon viewing this film was when was the last time Woody Harrelson was in a good film and not a zany t.v show AKA Will and Grace? Second, Emily Mortimer? Holy shit, she played Neve Cambell's role in the faux movie "Stab" from Scream 3! It was a little hard for me to take her seriously even though I'd seen her in other films like Matchpoint or Paris Je Taime but once I did she was pretty good.

I had heard whispers of this film in class last semester and finally decided on a whim to check it out. I'm pretty glad I did. The way it was advertised from my classmates was that it was an edge of your seat thriller, but I didn't find the excitement until the on screen murder done by our fine young protagonist. I kind of liked that it was a little over the top and it suddenly became an on the run, mysterious film with minor violence and corruption.

The most satisfying thing from this film was the fact that Emily Mortimer had a dark secret that was only confessed to one person and in the end, even her husband (Harrelson) didn't even know. How fucked up is that? It was kind of like one of those sayings "I traveled the Transiberian and all I got was a guilty conscious for beating a man senseless in the middle of a frozen tundra and horrible frostbite."

Verdict: I was indifferent of the film. It was a nice change of scene from some of the horrible films labeled as "thrillers" and the pacing/script was pretty realistic. If anything it preyed on claustrophobia and the excitement of meeting strange faces, something maybe we all have sort of dreaded. See it or don't. The scenery is beautiful, unless you live in the Midwest right now, then all you have to do is look out the window and poof! You're on the Transiberian!

Gran Torino

I wasn't really sure if this film was meant to be hysterical, especially since it's my first venture into the Clint Eastwood universe. I know, I know, I should see the classics and the "Oscar" worthy Million Dollar Baby, but I just haven't put much of an effort into either. I also can barely stand Hilary "dank" Swank's persona, unless she plays something closer to her personality a winy obnoxious teenager AKA Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie or The Next Karate Kid.

Anyway, Adam had been dying to see Gran Torino, and I heard fairly positive reviews from good friend Ms. Brandon Krajewski. The papers glorified it for the most part, it was number one for a while (before that shiteous Mall Cop bumped it) and every time I saw the TV spots where Clint Eastwood holds a gun up and garbles the line "Get off my lawn," I couldn't help but laugh.
Like I said earlier, I thought it was a laugh riot and I don' t know if I should have but I couldn't help it. Eastwood said some of the worst and most offensive things you can say to a minority while most of the characters grinned and bared it but ended up redeeming himself in the end (as most of his films tend to do, or so I've heard.)

You have to take in account my surroundings, a mostly white suburban theater from the Midwest watching a film about a crotchety old veteran from the Midwest but everyone else was laughing too. I tried thinking about replacing all the racial slurs with gay hate words too see if I would still laugh, but I found the idea of a gay hating veteran befriending a bunch of queens hard to swallow. Obviously it would be a completely different movie with a much shittier budget and acting because most of all gay movies are shit but I still didn't find it offensive.

I guess the viewers would have to be the judge of it, and I'm sure if you're Asian you'd either hate the film or love it. Overall, I thought it was an amazing film. Extremely interesting and well acted for the most part. Maybe Clint was effortlessly acting mimicking the same character from previous films, but I found his role to be the most interesting and best acted. There was something redeeming about him and I liked the way things were revealed without relying on too much storytelling or dialogue. The script was pretty fantastic and the film didn't turn into a gang banger/revenge plot that most people probably hoped it would be. I really liked the innocence and realistic ending that wasn't over the top (For Ex:his character didn't leave the Hmong family his entire fortune or brutally kill the bad guys in the end.) It ended very peacefully with a creepy two minute rendition from Clint Eastwood of the song Gran Torino originally performed by Jamie Cullum.

All I could think after the films ending was Clint Eastwood should have had an Academy Award nomination. Even if he didn't win, I thought he was very good and who knows how much longer he'll be around? It's not like he doesn't have other awards lying around but he definitely deserved some recognition for a ballsy film.

Skins

I've decided for the moment to include television "reviews" as well, since I watch just as much TV on DVD as films.

The funny thing about this show Skins, is that I had only read slightly about it online, but didn't take much interest in it (it being a a teen dramedy based in Britain, it was harder to find.) People who know me, might be surprised that I didn't catch on to this show sooner since I make it no secret that I love almost anything that used to be on the WB, now the CW channel and teen drama type films AKA Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Adam randomly bought the DVD one day after work and included a review by the Star Trib, that was fairly positive. It's very rare that Adam and I ever agree on liking a show, especially one like Skins that involves teen sex, drugs and nudity. It's even more rare for Adam to blindly buy a DVD that he's never seen but I saw it strike his interest so we watched it. Successfully finishing the first volume/season I can honestly say that it blows all those other shows like the OC, 90210 and Gossip Girl out of the water. Sure the CW, would have a heart attack trying to mimic this show, but I often wondered while trying to watch all the American shows, why don't they take these characters and the situations to the next level?

The cover art for Skins has two quotes that honestly sell the product, one being "...skins goes where Gossip Girl and other teen dramas from these shores wouldn't dare," and "Skins would be the result if Kids and Gossip Girl ever met at a party, got wasted, 'roofied' one another, mated like ferrets and had a kid." Now if that doesn't make you want to buy it what does? I'll be the first to say that I loathed the film Kids and will always, but this was a lot easier to watch even when each character has an emotional breakdown or tears themselves to pieces.

The premise of this show is about a group of friends, some with crushes, some with eating disorders, one who is Muslim and best friends with a gay guy, daddy issues, cheating issues, drug problems and troubled family life. It may not sound that great and in the first episode you may not be dragged in right away, but by the second/third episode I was hooked. It might possibly be the fact that I found the episodes interesting and unique. Each episode is titled by a characters name and mostly follows them around, introducing a problem and their family life while interacting with the other friends. Each story arc, smoothly flows into the next episode and even when things are resolved they don't feel forced.

My favorite character in the show is the young Michele Williams (top right) look alike who is constantly pill popping and avoiding eating food. I found her story and sadness the most interesting, but others may find the womanizing Tony or lazy unmotivated Sid more interesting.

The two familiar faces in the show are Nicholas Hoult who played the young boy opposite Hugh Grant in About a Boy and Dev Patel who recently starred as the grown up lead in Slumdog Millionaire.

If you're ready for a balls out, drug fueled, heroin shooting, crack smoking, pill popping, explicit name calling, alcohol guzzling, womanizing, teacher fucking, eating disorder good time with some nudity and sex then check out Skins. It's actually pretty good without the cliched endings and happily ever afters we see in American shows where everyone becomes friends again. Things get bad, and stay bad like real life.

Iron Man

Friends and avid lovers/fans of Robert Downey Jr, have been after me for a while to see this film. I've always been incredibly interested of the Marvel world (X-men, Spiderman, Elektra, DareDevil, to name a few.) Even though I knew less about Iron Man the superhero and have been disappointed with most superhero movies since X3 (Batman Begins/Dark Knight excluded) I willingly place this on netflix.

The premise was extremely fascinating and the acting "so so" but I wasn't particularly blow away like most people had been boasting. Maybe they're reasons behind it are strictly for Downey Jr, or possibly because of the lack of good superhero flicks these days but I wasn't that into it. Sure I found the mythology of Tony Stark and his suite interesting and the world can identify and hoot n holla for his destruction against terrorists, but I found it slowly turning into Transformers. I'll admit, it wasn't as hokey and fake looking as Transformers and the acting was much better, but the story of Iron Man seemed a little generic. Maybe I'm biased because I've seen the obnoxious playboy/womanizer turn good in the past through other identities but I'll stand by my statement that Downey Jr, isn't as "brilliant" as everyone claims.

On the flip side, I can't go on dogging Downey, because out of all the actors used in the film I'd say hands down he was the best. I've always been a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow, but for some reason she seemed oddly out of place. Kind of like placing a strong, independent woman in the meek damsel role. Maybe it was poor casting choice or she was trying too hard, but she missed completely and didn't ooze sex appeal like I believe the director wanted. She was hotter in Great Expectations with Ethan Hawke.

Terrance Howard, what can I say? I can't stand his voice and thought he was awfully winy so I'm not surprised they pulled a "Batman" by cutting him out of the film (like Katie Holmes.) Everyone else including Jeff Bridges were decent. I was so used to seeing Bridges as the bad guy that the twist didn't really surprise me.

Overall, I'd give the film a pat on the back and an honorable mention for taking back superhero films that don't commit comic book suicide like X3 but it wasn't my cup of tea. I could stand watching it and wouldn't turn away from it if I saw it on television, but I'll say this...if you watch the trailer and aren't impressed, don't bother. There's nothing that really stands out that great, unless you're an action fan boy of transformer like fights and random explosions with guns.

Zombie Strippers

"They'll dance for a fee, but devour you for free" With a tagline like that how could you not want to see this film?!

This film is exactly as it sounds and doesn't leave much to the imagination. One of the positives about it though is the originality and fact that the producers and writer/director know not to take themselves and this film seriously. Headlining Jenna Jameson as the main zombie stripper and starring horror legend and god, Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) I knew I was in for a treat.

One of my favorite horror experiences was the Grindhouse phenomenon with Robert Rodriguez and Tarentino who teamed up to re-introduce the world with b-horror/action drive in flicks entitled "Grindhouse" films. I was lucky enough to see both films screened how they should be, back to back with fake horror trailers in between by other horror geniuses like Eli Roth, Rob Zombie and Edgar Wright. The Grindhouse experience was like nothing I've seen in a while. With a sling of horror remakes and poorly adapted Japanese horror films released left and right, it was about time something relevant was released and brought fun back into the cinema.

I would consider Zombie Strippers to be an homage to these type of films as well. Even though it was released after both Death Proof and Planet Terror, and skipped theaters for a direct to DVD release, I knew it had to be placed on my netflix. Now, I'm not one to shy away from gratuitous nudity and gore, but man did this film raise the absurdity level. I'm no prude and going into it I knew that Jenna Jameson (ex-pornography star) was headlining it, but I didn't expect such gross out moments from the Zombie strippers who are perfectly coherent but feel the need to feed on human flesh. Balls and penis's were being ripped off and eaten, the strippers bodies became more and more grotesque as they danced with gashes in their necks and some even battled against one another shooting ping pongs and pool balls out of a certain female special spot.

The funny thing is that after the movie ended I had two thoughts. Jenna Jameson should be in more movies. I don't praise her because of her nakedness or body but she was an actual fresh and normal actress that could pull off more feature roles. I mean if Jessica Alba keeps making pictures, anyone can right?

Secondly, I decided that I actually liked the film for it's over the top marketing genius and crazy plot line. I felt that not many movies successfully transition into cult status or midnight movies, but something about this film made sense and in my opinion be remembered a classic B-movie.

All I have to say is for a direct to DVD film, starring these handful of players in an absurd situation, I found myself intrigued by the story and how it slowly unraveled itself before the viewers. Just when you think it's going one way, it switches and beats you over the head with political satire, gore and nudity. It's not for the weak hearted and should be watched with little expectation, but you might surprise yourself how interesting Zombie Strippers really is.

Revolutionary Road

Even thought I've been attending "film" school for more than five years, you'd think I'd get a kick out of seeing the award winning films. It wasn't until this year when I took my contemporary cinema class that I've decided to watch not only the good but the bad. With each screening of a new film, I've decided to actively post reviews or general thoughts on a film expressing my love or hate for it, seeing everything from direct to DVD films to the award winners. Wish me luck!

The newest film I saw this week was Revolutionary Road starring America's favorite couple since Titanic, Kate Winslet (winner of two 2008 golden globes) and Leo Di Caprio starring as a gloom and doomed couple in the 1950's.

I remember walking to work in the horrible Minnesota winter and passing one of my favorite local independent theaters, the Lagoon, and noticing the theatrical poster for the film. I thought it looked okay so I YouTubed the trailer after work. It was there in that moment that I became intrigued the same way I always do with "relationship" films that take place in the 50's. I had to see this film. I didn' t know that it was adapted from a novel until I talked about it with some film geeks at a house warming party one night and became more enthralled.

Once I finally saw this film I was drawn into its world and in the words of a fellow co-worker found it to be "soul sucking." The entire film was a gorgeous inside look into a not so happy marriage much like a favorite film of mine Far From Heaven starring Randy Quaid and Julian Moore. It follows these average characters who try to break out of their monotonous routine and shoot for the stars, only to have others around them break the bubble. Every disaster and dramatic moment happens naturally and instead of heavily relying on exposition, the film carried each scene from one frame to another with a beautiful script.

Maybe I'm biased, because of where I am in life, hoping to make my transition to Hollywood, but this film really hit the spot and preyed on one of my worst fears. The fear is of feeling trapped in a relationship and growing old with a person that gets under your skin and tears a piece of your heart with it. I know the lucky thing we have today is divorce, but I feel strongly that it's bad enough to break up at a young age, but to divorce someone can be emotionally damaging as you've been likely to give up certain parts of yourself for someone, only to possibly get nothing in return.

Bottom line see the film, decide for yourself, and for the sake of all movie lovers, please stop looking at your watch or cell phone through out the film to check the time...it only distracts those who are actually enjoying themselves.